Tuesday, May 24, 2011

The Web - Relations that last !

I was recently sitting at a coffee shop, accompanied by The City of Djinns, and right beside me there was a large group of young boys and girls happily chatting away over a hot cuppa. Loud decibels had completely made me lose my patience so I decided to leave, but then suddenly snippets of their conversation made me sit again. It seemed that there was one broken couple amidst them and it was turning out to be quite an awkward evening for them. So, it got me thinking that if it was so difficult to sit with your 'ex' then why even make the effort and go through all the awkwardness ?

Discussing this thought with a few of my friends made me realise that it is was not as simple as it seemed on the surface. During the course of a relationship be it your boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse or even friends; you tend to meet several other people that might be your friends or your partner's. Now, these are what we label as 'mutual friends'. They have a very interesting role to play as even after the relation ends on a 'not so happy note', they are the ones who keep the two sides bonded through a thin social glue. Just because you found these friends during the relationship and they might just happen to be friends of your partner doesn't really mean that once the relation ends so do these new friendships. As a matter of fact many times they can be the ones that help you get over the bad phase and start afresh. No doubt that sometimes because of your 'ex partner'; situations with mutual friends may get sticky, awkwardness may also prevail. But, these are the friends who will remain through all the thick and thin.

Sometimes, you might just find a love interest in one of these mutual friends because they have seen you through your worst and best phases. They probably understand your emotional psyche a lot better. So, the point that I am trying to make here is that it doesn't really matter if that relation is over because it was never really worth the effort, (of course if it would have been; you wouldn't have been alone right now) and the worst thing would now be to also lose these new friends that you have made.

Keep them close.


Sunday, May 22, 2011

I am a die hard Feminist..

Yesterday I had the "opportunity" to accompany a friend of mine to a pre selection round of a beauty pageant. Now, I proudly consider myself to be a 'kurta and jeans' wearing girl so a place where the accepted dress code was only elaborate evening gowns and body highlighting dresses; I knew that I was a misfit. However, I decided to go ahead with the plan of going because I had the moral obligation to enthuse my friend !

Nevertheless, the evening didn't turn out as half bad as I had expected it to be infact in a way it was quite an entertaining affair. Young, endearing girls walking down in 6 inch dreadful heels, giving their best orthodontic smiles. Considering that these 2-3 minutes was their only ticket to easy fame and success. But what really caught my attention was the answer of a young 16 year old girl, clad in a teeny red dress, who after following the usual protocol of expected adjectives also added that she was a " DIE HARD FEMINIST". Really, did I hear correctly ? I doubted my aural abilities and checked once again with my companions and after getting an affirmative nod from them, I wondered to myself was this statement an example of her anxiousness or sheer stupidity. Didn't she just present one of the biggest paradoxes of the immature Indian society. I can sympathize with her for a moment because being brought up in a convent, all girls environment the term 'Feminism' is used at leisure. Sometimes, even without a second thought.

Now, interestingly would a radical (or even liberal) feminist endorse beauty pageants? The feminist arguments against beauty pageants are obvious, and have been around even before the famous 1968 demonstrations at the Miss America pageant in Atlantic City. I am not to be mistaken as a "bra burning radical feminist" but I do not endorse the idea of commodifying women in this way. Dressing up and looking pretty is no sin. Women are undoubtedly the more appealing gender (I did not use the term sex as that is a biological concept ) and wanting to be perceived as attractive is completely understandable. However, my problem is with we often fail to recognize how they operate within a greater context of generalized and widely accepted misogyny. The day women start buying those endorsed products and spend hours in front of the mirror when they are doing it for their own happiness and not to please anyone; that day would be revolutionary.

I dedicate this to an extraordinary woman; someone I always looked upto and will do so all my life. People say that in today's day and age rational people cannot really afford to have a hero. Well, I have one.
She would not appreciate being named here but she once told me that,"The world today does not need feminists or idealists, but, what we really need are Humanists."

That is what I am trying to be.
Cheers !